Your Goals Are Valid

The equestrian sport is a difficult one. You’ve heard it all before. Our “equipment’ has a mind of its own, we are straddling a 1200 lb animal and in many cases asking him to jump over obstacles or perform extraordinary tasks. Our goals can take years to accomplish and we may never truly attain them in our lifetime. But the true passion doesn’t come from achieving all the goals we have set out for ourselves and our equine partners.

As I’ve learned over time, achieved goals and “wins” are only a byproduct of what is really special about our sport.

I know you have been in this situation before. I personally have battled this. I have also helped many others get through it. It is the battle between losing sight of what this is all for and knowing what it is you want to accomplish, all while having the motivation to do so. This is a peculiar life that we live. One that revolves around horses. It often requires a high output of energy for a small moment of satisfaction. At least sometimes that is how it feels.

This is a struggle that we all face and when the fear of never succeeding enters, it seems like it will last forever. It is important to always remember that this will last only for a short time when looking at the big picture. I have lost my passion, my desire, my why, my vision many times in my life with horses.

What I know is that every time you lose your way. It is up to you, and only you, to find your way back. Back to what is true in your heart. From this experience, you will ALWAYS come out the other side, evolved. Others can be there to guide, support or lift you up, but YOU are the only one accountable for your personal growth.

Today I’m reaching out to anyone who has felt the same, felt the struggle, who is not fully convinced that this constant growth is a necessity in our lives. That this is what the process looks like.

Id like to shed some light on why we might reach obstacles and how we can achieve a better understanding of one another through our struggles, and approach them without judgment. To approach these obstacles with compassion and respect. Perceive them as lessons to be learned. Both for ourselves, others around us, and for our horses.

It might feel sometimes that others are not helping your growth and perhaps at times impacting how we feel. So I have to ask…

Have you shared your true vision with them?

Have you been true to yourself so that you can be true to others? Or by human nature, are they comparing their vision to yours unknowingly? 

I remember a time in my teens that I truly believed that everyone who rode a horse wanted to become a professional like I did. Therefor my form of support for them came out of a place of comparison and not a place of compassion. I can forgive myself for being so self focused then and for not being the true compassionate supporter that I am proud of today. I have to remember the girl who lived in a world where the goals of others HAD to align with my own, simply because it was the only way I was capable of viewing my sport. Today it is a lesson that I hold true to my heart. I had to learn this lesson in order to become the coach that I am today. One that supports and sees the goals of each and every individual and brings knowledge and experience to the table but not ego. 

So in the rare instance when a rider shares with me that they wish to become a professional, I can share with them that becoming a professional means becoming an understanding compassionate horse person first. That the students they will mentor will not all share the same goals, and that the horses they meet will all have something different to say. All things are valid and all things need to be heard and supported.

I would like to remind you that we are all in this sport for the same reason.

 WE LOVE HORSES

Whether it be your hobby, your sport, or your profession. Horses are the constant here. They provide us with an indescribable feeling that I can only describe as is its own form of JOY. Horses provide a feeling of love in our hearts and bring healing into our lives in the purest form. 

In most instances the barn is our sanctuary. If it is not… it is time to address why that is. No-one else can do that for you. There are people that can support you with these feelings if you feel safe enough to share them. However only you can bring the disruption to the surface and confront it. 

 We have all heard about the dreaded “barn drama” and I think that unless there is some collective communication, we cannot avoid it. My translation of “barn drama” is disconnect. Disconnection with our vision, disconnection with others, our horses, simply a gap of understanding for one another.

Imagine a world, where we could share our goals, dreams and visions to each other without judgement. Without the fear of being told that we are not valid. To bring our experiences to each others attention only to support one another and not to diminish. That no one goal is superior to the other. We can all learn from one another.

Have a beginners mind and an open heart.

What is clear to me is that we are first and foremost horse people. We have our equine partners best interest in mind and whether we want to spend time with them, ride them, or annoy them with our love for them, they provide us with emotional support. Maybe we want to chip away at a goal that has been persistent in our mind. Maybe we are looking to our horses to help us become better human beings. In any case, horses provide comfort, emotional security, happiness, escape, passion… fuel to our lives. Even the feelings we may perceive as negative that being around horses will inevitably surface, are opportunities to grow. We are horse people first and foremost, and horses are healers.

So why not accept one another for this shared love? Why is there conflict?

When someone does things differently than you, why does it bother you? 

Let them navigate their world. They are probably learning a lesson. 

Ask yourself… Do my goals line up with the situation I am struggling with? Do I have to experience this struggle to grow?

Is my vision of my perfect sanctuary clear? Have I made it clear to myself and to others?

Break it down. The answer doesn’t always appear right away.

Communication isn’t easy. Confrontation is harder. 

But it needs to happen. And we need to look at it from the perception of being part of each others lessons. We are all connected in this way. 

Be true to yourself. Ask yourself where your feelings are really coming from. You will discover that only you can create your feelings and others are only helping you confront them, almost always unknowingly.

What is stopping you from living in your vision everyday… reflect on that and then confront it.

Confront it with compassion, empathy and put your ego in the back seat. 

As a coach, I have been able to see goals in many forms. All goals are valid. All goals are true to that individual sharing them.

So your goal is to be an Olympian? That is amazing! You have drive, motivation and an unwavering passion for your sport and what the vision of being an Olympian means to you.

I hope that everyone you meet, approaches your goal and vision with support and an appreciation for what it must take to have such a lofty goal. You’ve got your work cut out for you and no-one can tell you you’re wrong or not capable. Own it!

Maybe your goal is to successfully ride a cross rail course to the standard that you have in your minds eye of what that vision looks like for you. Your goal is VALID. Work everyday towards that goal. It belongs to you. There might not even have to be a timeline.

You want to be able to mount your horse without pain and for him to be patient while you do so. It is possible and it is VALID. It belongs to you and it is your responsibility to make it happen. And I hope you have others who support your vision, dream, goal.

You can start a young horse, you can jump 3ft, you can jump 4ft, you can trot a pole, you can let go of your reins, you can acquire a strong efficient position, you can retrain a racehorse, you can go on a trail ride safely, you can ride for hours without getting frustrated, you can be right on track with your goals, you can build strength in your horse.

Im sure by now you see where I’m coming from. 

We must support one another. No matter what our visions each look like. No matter what success is for us. We can see through each others eyes and tune into each others visions for the purpose of understanding the struggles we all face. We can appreciate the work that goes into the dream. And most importantly, we can be there to support each other on the same level needed to accomplish these things.

That is my vision.