Fear Management

Begin Navigating Your Zones

My comfort zone, when it comes to horses, has never quite mirrored the comfort zone that I carry in my personal life. I have no problem pushing myself far beyond what most people see as comfortable when I’m up on a horse. In fact, that is when I feel the most comfortable. I count on that feeling every time I sit on a horse. Up in the saddle is where I prefer to spend most of my time. I guess that is why I chose this career!

Teaching what has always come naturally to me to developing riders has been no easy task. It isn’t something I’ve had to learn. It is something Ive practiced my entire life, without even knowing it. Preparing myself for a future in this industry, without realizing how uncomfortable it is for the majority of kids and adults in my program who struggle with fear and doubt.

This article has been a long time coming. Everyone I teach, for different reasons all their own, ride with some level of fear. Fear of getting injured, fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of disappointment in themselves or by their peers. Maybe it’s something else. The more I’ve focused on this pattern in others, the more I’ve realized that I go back to comfort and fear as well. Many times. For different reasons. This realization has helped me to explore and discover how to help my clients with their personal growth. The one constant thing I hear from riders is that they want to be a better rider. For themselves and for their horses.

Growth is what happens when you can find your way out of your comfort zone and begin to actively push through it. When you can recognize your fears and learn from them. You learn, then you grow.

I came across this photo on social media. It added to my desire to share and really began to help me see clearly how to help my developing riders overcome their fears and begin to adapt into the riders they’ve always wanted to be. Whether your goal is to compete as a jumper rider, or to just enjoy riding in general. The spectrum is enormous but the true constant goal is the same.

↑  Does this look familiar? ↑ 

“I started this journey by looking at the way I help horses gain confidence. What was missing, was my ability to help my riders gain confidence. I wanted to extend the relationship I could create with horses by helping riders find that same connection.”

How do you help someone become “fearless”?

The only conclusion I could reach is that you couldn’t actually teach fearlessness. I am not fearless. I have realized that you cannot live without fear.

But you can manage it. You can get to know it so well within yourself that you give it a name and give it some love and recognize it, before it takes you too far down an unknown path. A spiral if you will.

Cantering up to a larger fence I know what I feel. I give it the energy it deserves, then I take the rest of the energy I have left in me to use the skills that I know in order to clear that fence. It also applies when I put the first ride on a young or green horse. That surge of fear hits me every time. Fear of getting tossed into the dirt, fear of getting my teeth kicked out…again. The fear of a debilitating injury. My mind flashes back to times where I’ve been so sore I couldn’t get out of bed for days. Concussions and traumatic falls which led to massive hematomas.

I need to feel these emotions. I let them travel through by body in waves of butterflies and heart palpitations. Emotions hold an incredible amount of energy. I mount that horse despite those fears and I apply a skill. I get that horse to take a step to the side, or a step back. Whatever skill I decide to use for that horse, pushes us to a new level of development. Now that horse and I are learning and growing together. I trust the work I’ve done to get me to this point and I feel it all. Let me tell you how the first confident ride on a new horse feels. One of the best feelings in the world.

To walk you through this change of pattern that reaching your growth zone requires, you have to first start by recognizing your emotions. It bothers me when certain people tell me to get control of my emotions. Living and feeling them in any moment is what helps me eventually grow stronger. If I’m not hurting any one, then what does it matter how I choose to react?

Give your energy to recognizing that you feel uncomfortable. Name the feeling or what YOU know to be true about your fears. Where does that fear come from? Is it a traumatic fall you’ve experienced in the past? Is it the feeling of judgement from others? Is it the fear that you may never be the rider you desperately want to be?

After you’ve allowed that emotion to come to life, focus on your body. How you can apply that skill physically and let it flow just as you can emotionally. Can you still apply an effective aid? Is your horse still looking to you for leadership and can you still apply the skills to be a leader? If not, learn a skill that can give you this and apply it. Doing this means you’ve put yourself into the growth zone.

Ive had many horses that I’ve had to teach this system to. Most recently I owned a horse who suffered from a highly traumatic past. He couldn’t tell me what was wrong but through actively working to understand this horse and applying new skills I came to the realization that he wasn’t reactive to what I was doing but rather what was triggering him. He was remembering an instance where he was afraid for his life. Any time he was triggered he acted fearfully and defensively. Sometimes I couldn’t see the relevance in his reactions, but then again I didn’t live through his traumas. He did.

I had to actively push this horse out of his comfort zone by purposefully triggering him and then showing him a different way to react. Repeating this gave him confidence in this new reaction. He became rideable and now has a future in the sport of show jumping with someone capable of managing his fear. Think of the ways this approach can help you as a fearful rider. The great thing for you, is that you can share with your trainer and trusted friends your fears and open yourself up to a huge resource of people who will be able to share a skill that you can add to your toolbox. Next time you find yourself afraid. Follow it with a skill. Force yourself to do what you fear. Focus on explaining something to your horse skillfully. You will always grow if you create this pattern.

A good way to get out of your comfort zone is to learn a new skill. This can be anything technical or even emotional/intellectual. To actively practice or learn a new skill already releases you from the clutches of the comfort zone. In my opinion, just getting to the barn to visit and groom your horse on some level takes you out of that zone. The fear zone is where I find the majority of my clients. They have been stuck in the same place and are looking for help. What id like to make clear is that it is O.K to go back and forth between your fear and growth zones. It is the only way to recognize what needs to be addressed. Imagine living your entire life only in your growth zone. You can’t, its impossible. You need to learn to grow. You need to fail to learn and your need to recognize when you are in each zone to find your integrity.

Getting out of my comfort zone includes recognizing my emotions when things don’t go as planned in my ideal mindset. Recognizing those emotions… only to be able to release them and move on. To grow where in the past I would have stayed “stuck” or even began to spiral out of control. Im proud of that growth. The biggest thing to know about growth is that it requires change. As simple as it sounds. Stop the pattern by recognizing it. This automatically takes you out of your comfort zone and puts you into your learning zone. The more often you can change your pattern the more often you will start to live in that zone and GROW!

-Brit