An Honest Discovery

In the summer of 2018 I spend my days and evenings coaching, training, riding and showing. On top of the regular routine, Derek and I were purchasing our horse farm and making the dream of operating my business directly from home. It was an exciting summer filled with success, struggle and new opportunities.

Heart of the Continent is a show here in Manitoba. There is some decent prize money and it is a great way to wrap up the summer season. There is a Grand Prix on the final day and it was a big goal for me to do well in this class.

It also happened to be the first time I had truly felt that something had changed in Alice, my open level jumper who I just purchased at the start of 2018. She had been great all summer. Jumping her heart out for me and teaching me what I needed to learn about jumping the big sticks with technically, not just heart and reckless abandon. She fine tuned my ride. If you don’t ride this mare correctly… believe me… she lets you know.

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We have had some ups and downs. We hit a few brick walls… figuratively… thankfully! We were discovering how to better understanding one an another every single day.

We had a rocky start to our relationship. I actually remember having this exact thought while in Florida just after I purchased her. It was our first experience jumping courses together. I thought and shared daily with Derek –

“Why did I spend all of this time and money buying a horse and showing her in Florida for two months… a mare with 1.45 experience… only to be barely scraping by the 1.10s?”

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I was beyond frustrated with my struggle to ride her. I felt like a beginner all over again. Something that I would like to mention is something everyone should embrace. If you feel like a beginner and you are in fact a professional, it is O.K to feel that way when you are learning something new. There is nothing worse than hitting a plateau with no sense of improvement or even recovery.

I’ve always been committed, a great student and a hard worker. I was persistent. I changed my attitude and took some accountability that it wasn’t her fault it was mine. And you can always try harder, listen harder and improve.

I finally figured my new mare out, after almost two months down south. We jumped our first 1.30 as a partnership and it felt easy. It only got better from there. We then proceeded to jump our first Grand Prix together, and although it wasn’t perfect or a winning ride by any means. I learned even more about her and my doubts diminished. That whole summer was filled with success. I enjoyed every minute jumping my wonderful complicated mare who challenged me every day to be a better horsewoman and rider.

When the final show of the summer came around we were in it to win it. We warmed up, we jumped the course. It was a smooth trip. We had the last rail down and we placed in the top 5. But something had changed in the relationship. It was subtle but it gave me the feeling that it had actually progressed to this point after some time. At some point that summer we began to degenerate. Our rides had gotten progressively weaker as the summer came to an end. She had a well deserved holiday after her summer jumping almost every weekend.

Derek and I moved into the new farm. Fall came around and I decided to put Alice into full work again with the hopes of travelling south for the winter circuit. By the start of winter she wasn’t herself. She was difficult to ride and I was struggling. I pushed through it and attended a winter clinic. I pulled her out of the clinic on Day 2. She was not herself and once I pulled her boots, I got an idea why. She had mild swelling on her right front. An ultra sound revealed it was a check ligament injury. Not a huge concern but she was sound again 7 weeks later. Cold therapy and Bute, 24/7 bandaging. Not wanting her to become injured again I decided right then and there that even as a professional, I was going to seek help to become better for my horses.

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I hired Kathryn at Ride Well Performance. Kathryn picked up on our first session an injury that I sustained while giving a horse a tune up ride for a friend in the summer. An injury that happened months prior and one that I pushed through in order to continue working and showing. I medicated for the pain and pushed through it.

What I have now learned is that when the body is in pain. Either emotionally or physically. It has an automatic way to block or compensate that pain. My left hip stopped working the way it should and my right hip took over control. As a result, and without my full awareness it became clear that during this time my horses had all developed a weakness in the left hind. Combine a hind end weakness with some evident arthritis in the left stifle and hock as well as a drastic change of temperature and you have a horse who needs to compensate diagonally with her right front. My dear sweet Alice was compensating for an injury that I sustained!!

Yes, many other factors contributed to this injury specifically, but if you tune in a little deeper you might find that there are patterns to your horses behaviour and the way you are approaching your ride. I cried two nights in a row and reached a low point in my personal life when I couldn’t understand how to get Alice back to herself. I lost motivation and I was sad and frustrated. I even asked myself why I’m still training horses. Today, I am living in the moment of joy and realization. Take the good days with the bad because another learning experience is on the way. Take your trials and tribulations and turn them into a learning experience. If you do this, you cannot fail.

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Horses are amazing and they have ways of showing us that they are uncomfortable. They carry emotional and physical pains. We as riders need to learn not only better riding skills but better horsemanship. Be open to receive the energy from your horse and always approach them with the intention to heal and protect.

I am sharing my experiences in hopes of changing the way riders think. I have through my personal experiences learned that it is rarely the horse with the problem. I want to be a part of a horse community that can share and grow together to better understand the deeper connection that we have with horses and each other. It takes a team to find a solution and it is always okay to be vulnerable and seek help.